Love doesn’t just happen. At first sight, it’s at most an idealization.
Idealizations are not false. They’re just not true. They’re like the Constitution without the constituents.
Love is more the generation and preservation of attraction through reciprocal effort towards enlarging, strengthening, and losing the self. It’s about the hard and beautiful work into maintaining a relationship, about commitment and devotion. These realize Love and rescue it from ephemerality.
This not only applies romantically. Love, for example, does not lie in the intense desire to do a start-up, but the nights sleeping on the floor. Find those things that don’t only sound good, but ones that you’d be able to be committed to. Do it again and again. And some day you’d maybe have finally brought love into the world. It’s gonna be life-justifying.